When We Stop Holding It All
A personal reflection, turned invitation
A note, a dare, a permission slip on personal liberation, the power of choosing, and what might open when we say no to over-functioning and fear–and yes to ourselves at those precious thresholds of becoming. A reflection on courage and vision: letting go of old versions of ourselves and feeling the ripples of collective resonance when we step into being more us, more free.
A rare rainbow appeared over Sinai the same day I said yes to something I’d been tiptoeing around for over a year.
These past weeks have seen me make a big decision. It might not sound or seem big to you. But it’s something I hadn’t allowed myself to do since that thought first crossed my mind, over a year ago. And that’s why I am sharing it. Because maybe, just maybe, you have something just like it in your life.
What if …
The unthinkable: What if I cut off some parts of my work? Allow myself to focus more, instead of trying to do it all (and fail because it’s just not possible to hold it all at once. Not now and not for me, at least. And that’s what matters, right?
What if I dare to choose what I am most excited about right now?
What comes most easily to me and feels good to do. Those things that make me squeal a little (inside and out) when I get to do them. That have me sigh with relief and want to talk about non-stop. (Do you have one or more of those things, too?)
Cue: Yes, I dare. I will let it set me free. No longer torn in all 4 or 1000 directions. No longer holding it all. Because that is just so, so exhausting.
Focus is freedom. It brought back my spark. It’s a focus that comes with the promise of expansion and that inner sense of coming, of having arrived at where I am supposed to be at this moment in my life.
It’s okay to focus.
It’s more than okay to choose.
To choose ease, joy, fulfillment, peace of mind, and expansion.
It’s okay to say goodbye (for now or ever) to the parts of your life that make it extra hard to lean into what you just KNOW wants to become.
Leaping Into the Unknown, Leaning In
For me, this is a BIG leap into what I believe is what I am here to do; in this body, at this time. And, at the same time, a personal rebellion against what I was taught I am allowed to do. Stepping more fully into being me and being seen for who I am.
(It does still feel like I am letting go of the last bit that was still tethering me to ‚respectable’ grounds. If only barely, since the label I am talking about here is that of a Life Coach, haha. And I know what I thought about that in my own days as a university career girly.)
Still, it feels so incredibly true to me, and who I am, I can hardly believe I am only seeing this so clearly now. (Of course, I DO know why that was so hard for me.)
But now that I have taken that leap, not knowing every next step: I find myself leaning into that becoming with so much anticipation, following signs, nudges, deeper callings. Receiving channeled messages that are so spot-on; they give me these funny crown tingles. Bliss. Something clicked in.
Becoming IS Liberation
It feels like liberation, wonder, and wholeness on a soul-level. All of it tied into a vision for collective liberation. Into healing that is liberation. And of finding out how exactly that could look like, for me and for the work I do to help others heal into wholeness, too.
Meanwhile I am over here, continuing to muster up the courage to actually live and be in that new way. With less masks, less hiding. No matter how it might look to other people and to some very judgemental inner parts of myself (screw those; lovingly of course.)
Letting my own healing, my very existence and my healing work be an act of liberation — while exploring what that truly means every step of the way. And where that will lead me. Not knowing, but trusting myself and all the supportive forces around me, human and non-human alike. Gosh, that feels so good.
Vowing to be open to what unfolds from here. From that grounded place within me, that allows itself to trust. And, OMG (groan), does that feel amazing. It fills me with a calm and assuredness, a sense of direction and purpose, I have not felt in a while.
Fully knowing I am not the only one currently standing on a threshold like this.
If that is YOU: Lean in. Fully. Make it count, I dare you. Consider this your personal invitation, your temptation, your permission slip.
Tell us about your very own becoming when you’re ready. I’m here to hold you if you want. And I know others are too.
Let us find out what becomes possible when we collectively choose from that place of focus, integrity, together. When we give ourselves the permission to be and do that “thing” that wants to take up space in our life even if it seems scary at first.
Much love ✨
Laura
If that is your kind of rebellion, check out my offerings for humans and animals, subscribe to my newsletter, and let’s be friends on Insta. Healing is collective, as is rebellion; let’s join forces. 🫶
