Ditching Hierarchy for (even more) Connection:
Shifts and Practices for Heart-Centered Pet Parents
Why you might want to read this blog (even though it’s a wordy one)
This blog is an invitation to open up and change the way we see our animals and, thus, how we are interacting with them. So, we can enter into a different type of relationship: from a place of mutual wholeness, as differently equal, with deep respect and in a way that allows for more of our animals’ agency, and wisdom to shine.
I give you simple, but impactful practices and shifts you can try right away. To help you deepen that beautiful connection you already have. For your own sense of connection, but also so you can be the very best support and friend for them. I know that’s what you want.
The Beautiful "Side Effect" of Meeting Our Animals as Equals
It is truly my favorite side effect of practicing Animal Reiki and Communication professionally to see the deepening–and often softening–of the connection between the humans and animals I get to work with.
That way how, after the sessions, the animals somehow take up more of the space that has always belonged to them. And their human allowing it and even being in awe by what they see happening in their connection. The deep sighs, the shared moments and looks, the ease and depth, the deepening of trust that follows. Chef’s kiss. Seeing the human witness their animal’s reaction to being met in such a wholesome way. When their animal friend’s emotional and spiritual depth sinks in, they become more aware of their wit, their love, their wisdom. And to thennn have the animal notice this shift and respond with more trust and love to feeling so seen. It makes my heart smile. Every. Single. Time.
Because, what all the lovely humans coming to me for Animal Reiki and Animal Communication services have in common: They want to support their animal companion(s) the best way they can. Whether that’s through Reiki healing or by listening in to understand their needs, likes, and perspectives as we do in an animal communication session. They all want to honor and deepen their bond with their cat, dog, ferret, horse (or sheep). Besides all else, they want to show their animals how much they matter to them. For that alone, I love all of them deeply.
In order to experience this, you can, of course, book a session with a professional (which could be me, and here’s the link to my services page).
And aaalso, there is a lot you yourself can shift and do to experience this depth and heart-centered connection with the animals in your life, more and more.
A Starting Point To Deeper Connection (Not a Training Plan)
Just to make things clear before we dive in: I am not a dog trainer or a cat psychologist. I am sharing from my professional perspective as an LAL® Animal Reiki practitioner/teacher and animal communicator, as a mom to multiple cats and a dog, and as someone who has been humbly taught by dozens of street cats and dogs in the past couple of years.
In this blog, I am giving you what I have seen create the most powerful shifts in our relationships with the animals we love. Not a training plan (there’s others who can do that better), or a one-time intervention. What I am introducing to you here is an invitation and a solid starting point that takes you deeper into a whole different relationship with the animals in your life. To change how we see, perceive and treat them and how we see and position ourselves in relation to them, as well.
It’s about switching up the power relations, re-imagening, re-configuring what’s possible and normal.
I am speaking as someone who does their daily best to meet them as the amazingly complex, unique, and sentient, wonderful beings they are. And I want to help other heart-centered humans (you!) do the same for your own animals. In all the big and small ways: they all matter.
(Or, if you are already doing that–which you might well be–to take it just that one step further. 🫶)
The Invite: Take these 3 practices and perspective shifts as an invitation to explore further „beyond“ what you’ve learned „pet ownership“ is and can be, to understand better who your animal is (on a soul-level) and how meeting them as equals can shift everything towards more connection, trust, shared joy, and even reverence.
When we humans meet animals from a place of mutual wholeness and with an open heart, it changes everything. For the animal, for sure. But for us humans and the connection we share and get to experience with our animals as well. While the animals deserve we meet them there, it’s really us that are missing out when we don’t.
(What it also does is feed that deep craving you have for an even deeper relationship, that you have always felt possible if maybe slightly out of reach.)
Deconstructing Hierarchy and Expanding into New Ways of Connecting
What’s that path to a deeper bond and to being a (/an even) better human companion, you ask?
No less–and no more–than a power shift in the human-animal relationship. We need to deconstruct the human-centered hierarchy we all grew up with. Only from a place of questioning the status quo, can we truly begin to interact and connect from a place of mutual wholeness. This involves, first and foremost, a shift in consciousness: A change in how we look at your animals, how we see them, meet them, and relate to them.
Let me tell you this as someone who professionally facilitates animal-led healing and communication: this is where we can do the most for them. The rest? It sort of flows from here. The moment you expand on this shift alone, you will begin to see lots of beautiful opportunities, changes, and moments this creates for the animal(s) you love; but also for you, and for the bond you share.
Becauuuse, when we take special care not to violate their souls or sovereignty, when we give them a chance to be an active and respected part of the relationship and of the life we create with them in it, we can THEN also co-create a whole different kind of support for them. And find an even deeper, even more loving bond between them and us. (And who wouldn’t want that. If you have read till here, I know YOU do!)
And this deconstruction begins with noticing, naming, and then changing these power relations that have been baked into us and this world we are living in as normal (and which is called specieism, you can google it).
Please know, I am not throwing shade here, we all kind of tend to do those. It’s just what we’ve learned and what we see around us. It’s in the noticing that we can begin to be free ourselves from it.
What ditching the human-centered hierarchy with our animals looks like:
A. Dissolving the „owner“ role and oppression-based ideas of how they need to behave in a world that has never been made for them, and instead being a compassionate friend to them
B. Making space for their unique expression and personality instead of managing, with patience and openness
C. Letting go of being „the knower“ and instead listening, inviting in your animal’s wisdom, and supporting their sovereignty (and problem-solving skills)
D. Replacing only ever doing things „to“ and „for“ them, to being and co-creating „with“ them, in play, in training, in your everyday life together
E. Striving to meet them in open, heart-centered presence, spending more moments of just being with them with no expectations or fixed „scripts“ on what should happen
There might already so much that comes to mind for you from your own life when you read those. Ways you could shift and open, in order to connect with and support your animal companion. That’s wonderful!
In the next section, I am sharing three helpful and very doable practices with you, to help you move from 'manager' or owner to 'partner‘ and companion.
How then do we actually live this out in our busy, messy lives?
*Credit needs to be given where credit is due. A lot of these understandings have deepened with immersing myself in Kathleen Prasad’s Let Animals Lead® philosophy, and the many realizations and experiences I have been able to have since starting to share the Reiki healing space with animals. (Instead of doing Reiki to them.) And mind you, I have been close to and kind towards animals my whole life. But LAL® still created massive change for the way I relate to my animals and them to me. (To all animals, actually.)
3 Things You Can Shift, Do, and Try
I have seen all 3 of those work their magic and truly change things for animals and their humans. In my own life for sure, but also through witnessing the humans and animals I worked with in the past 2-3 years. They seem quite simple, but are profound and not to be underestimated in their effects. Give them a whirl.
Practice ONE: Heart-Centered Presence
We humans always have much on our minds. Things that need to be taken care of, fixed, managed. That makes being present in the moment really tough.
But it’s these moments of true presence that can shift so much in our connections with our animals. It’s what brings us from doing to being together. Simply being a peaceful, loving presence around them, that’s what this first practice is all about.
The action: Take 5–10 minutes out of your day to simply sit with your animal(s). No need to crowd them; simply be in the same space or room. They get to choose if and how they want to be a part of this. How close or far away, etc.
The connection: Once you’re settled, you take a couple of deep, yummy breaths into your lower belly. Feel yourself relax your body with each breath. Now, focus on your heart, on the feeling of love you feel for your animal(s). Begin to feel how your own loving energy gently expands all around you. Invite your animal to step into this moment with you. They might choose to snuggle up next to you, or go to their favorite spot. Let them leave the room if they want to. Continue to feel your love for them, just because, and simply observe how they receive it.
Helpful note: Try to drop your expectations on how they should behave while you are doing this practice. Just for this moment, put aside your worries, maybe the more gnarly bits of your relationship, your fears, or their current health condition. They don’t matter in this moment between the two of you. Instead try to put your attention on how much you love them, and how wonderful it is to have them in your life. (Feel what happens with your body and emotions when you do.)
Use supports, be kind to yourself: I know that being able to hold that space depends a lot on you having the capacity to hold that inner stillness within yourself. Use guided meditations or a very dreamy, uplifting soundtrack to get you in the mood and help you hold that loving space. Be kind to yourself if you only manage to slip in and out of the feeling you are aiming at. Baby steps are still steps. I see you and you’re doing great.
Practice TWO: Listening and Letting Them Lead
This second practice is about opening up to animals as teachers on how to connect with them and how to support them in finding their own voice and way. What you are invited to do is letting go of the role of owner, of knower, of manager. Just for this moment. (There’s no need to completely change everything from one moment to the next, but I invite you to begin exploring what might become possible.)
The goal here is to intentionally create moments in which we do not force, fix, or override what our animals are doing. Instead we observe and support gently and compassionately.
The practice: Pick any moment when you are together, on a walk, or while hanging out on the couch together. Now, allow them to show you what they like and want. If it’s a moment on the couch: What kind of touch do they enjoy (or no touch at all)? At what times? Do they relax when you tell them „I got it“ on a walk in a busier street? And how can you support them in what they are already doing or showing you they need? (Unless it’s bringing you or someone else in danger, of course.)
The space: Try not to jump in or direct too much or too soon. Give them some space to fill the gaps themselves. Take a moment to pause, observe, listen, and have patience with them. Patience is, honestly, one of the most loving, compassionate and empowering things you can do for them. Let them pick their own pace and their own way of connecting with you, or not. Be open to their input and to how they respond. Adjust.
Bonus: Check yourself through their responses and behavior; let them help you notice what space you yourself are in: stressed, a bit aggressive, hurried, or sad? Your emotional and mental state have a tremendous effect on how they are willing or able to connect with you. Let them show you what might need release or adjustment. Notice how you benefit from their feedback. Our animals are such honest mirrors and amazing teachers, when we let them.
Animals can teach us exactly who they are, how they want to be in connection, be treated, be supported, how they want to love and be loved (or if and how they want to heal). When they do that and we listen, we can meet them there and learn an awful lot about them but also about ourselves and how to go about life.
Practice THREE: Beholding Your Animal Companion’s Full Complexity
And at last, I am inviting you to lean into the fact that your animal companion is a considerably more unique, layered being—emotionally and spiritually deep—than you’ve been taught to believe.
I know I am talking to humans here that talk to their cat or dog or parrot like they understand, treat them like an honored friend, and potentially have their mum or uncle tell them off for it! Trust that feeling you have.
(In case you want this to be true, but you are not fully sure yet: Absolutely no worries. I am not telling you to fully believe it right away; I simply want you to open up to the possibility that this is the case and go from here. See what happens, and changes when you go through this next practice. I know that depth is something we all need to experience for ourselves in order to believe.)
I want you really focus on that for a moment: hold the thought that they are much (!) more complex than you have been taught.
The Practice: Look at them with this knowledge in your heart and mind. Try to make space for all their complexity—their soul, personality, life story, likes and dislikes, species—, feel into that deep respect for their whole being and their perfection in your heart. Open up to and behold all of it. Stay there for 1-2 minutes.
The observation: Pay attention to what happens in your animal friend’s eyes and demeanor when you do look at them this way. There’s no right or wrong here, only process, only practice. Repeat this often. And see how it begins to shift how you feel about them, how you relate to them, how you treat them, and how they, in turn, respond to the change in how you perceive them.
Going beyond: You might even try this with other animals you come across (like noticing the wakefulness in the eyes of the cats and pigeons in the streets and parks).
Taking This Practice Deeper
If you are enjoying those ideas and the possibilities they create for connection with the animals you love, there are several ways you can take this even further.
1) Learn Animal Reiki LAL©-style: You could learn how to hold such a loving, peaceful, animal-led space yourself by taking a Let Animals Lead© Method of Animal Reiki class online or in-person. I am sure, you’ll not look back.
2) Read and Expand: You could read books that support the need and framework for viewing animals in a more wholesome, less dominance-based way, like Marc Bekoff’s „The Emotional Lives of Animals“ or „Grateful for Animals: Spiritual Comfort and Wisdom in Life’s Last Chapter“ by Gail Pope and Carol Howe Hulse.
3) Get Professional Support: If you notice you need help shifting into that calm, present and open mental and emotional space–cause life can be busy and demanding, I get it–or you realise your animals need a deeper, more professional healing support, I am more than happy to hold that space for you and your animal(s) in an Animal Reiki Session.
Or, if you feel like there’s more to understand about your animal, their needs, wants, messages, but you cannot fully put your finger on it, need validation for your impressions, more nuance, or just someone with an outside perspective (and a such less biased or afraid of certain topics or responses): A professional animal communication session can be a good step to take. (That’s how I do those.)
A deep bond based on mutual respect…
…being with them as equals with an open state of mind and heart. So you can freely share the love you feel for each other.
Enjoy the unfolding that happens. Allow it. I promise, it’s so worth it. The result is a deeper, more heart-centered, mutual relationship. A (more) co-created, and honestly, more magical life.
And, on top of everything else, it helps you know how to be the best support and friend for your animal companion through all that life might be throwing at you. 🫶
There’s no 'one right way' to do this, and you are already doing the beautiful work of showing up.
And when you’re ready to hear their story in more detail, or go deeper into a shared space of healing, I’m here to translate and bridge the gap.
Much love ✨
Laura
Hi, I am Laura! Healing Guide & Energy Intuitive
I am all about building (more) courageous and heart-centered connections, bringing healing to the animal-human relationship, naming and challenging power hierarchies that are making it hard(er) to connect deeply with ourselves and with life all around us. And that does not stop at the relationships we are co-creating with the animals in our lives.
